Crazy kiya re...

I am not talking about the famous song from the movie "Dhoom 2"... but this is my state(of body and mind) which my little tarzan has very efficiently managed to put me in... From morning till evening, I find myself running after him in all directions. And as the day comes to an end, my battery is totally exhausted. I try to steal a few minutes of sleep in the afternoon while Eshu is busy playing with his toys. But he makes sure I do not, by climbing all over me, banging his toys or anything in the vicinity over my head, putting his fingers into my nostrils, turning and twisting my nose, pulling my eyes lashes... basically doing every possible thing to keep me awake and upright.

I have a very dear friend of mine 'S' who lives in Pune and has a son 5 months older than Eshu. We talk over the phone very frequently and mostly the conversations are long enough. My ever increasing phone bills hold to the testimony of the same. :-) More than 95% of the time that I talk to her is eaten up by Eshu's conversations. I find myself being a avid complainer at all times. As soon as she asks me "Eshu kaisa hai?" my reply starts off with a growl... "Arey pooch mat... itna shaitaan ho gaya hai... koi kaam nahi karne deta... sab samaan utha ke fekta rehta hai... bla bla bla...." And almost a similar response comes from the other end. As a matter of fact, most of the mothers think their child is naughtier than the others. At least this is what I think when I talk to S. I feel Eshu is way more naughty than her son. Though I am cent percent sure she will disagree when she reads this. :-)

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse. And this is a fact. I have friends who have kids younger than mine, and I have the same thing to say to them. These days, I have become vulnerably intollerrant to a lot of Eshu's activities. I feel terrible when I shout at him or scold him and tears flow down his chubby cheeks. The very next moment, I take him in my arms, hold him close and kiss him. The guilt does not go easily. But then why have I become like this?

When I became a mom, I had firmly decided not to be loud, harsh or ever raise my hand on Eshu. Then why am I not able to keep upto it? My li'l wonder, when he grows up and reads this would surely hate me for being like this to him at such a tender age. But now on, I will not adopt any of these inappropriate disciplines ... I will try atleast. He is too young to be able to understand what I intend to with my harshness and this is certainly not the solution to reprimand him.

Off Blogging...

Blogging has been taking a back seat for a while now and perhaps would continue to. Reason being my little one who is keeping me super busy. I wish to write but as soon as I sit down, think over, write a few lines, after completing all my household chores, he is up all charged up once again and I just cannot continue. I have so many drafts left midway and waiting to be completed. There are millions of things I wish to pen down but I am just not able to. And once I leave them midway, the flow breaks and I find it hard to continue from where I stopped.

At one end as I find myself missing on something I wish to do so desperately, I am making it up with something even more important and meaningful for me... and that is spending time with my hubby and little one. With the festive season in, and a couple of up-coming holidays, all I am going to do is spend some quality time with my family.

Oh... my little wonder woke up and is waiting to be picked up and hugged. Wishing all a very Happy Navratri and Dussehra!

Mard ko dard nahi hota

How painful is it to see your little one being pricked at each vaccination and see him cry profusely? A lot indeed. But my wonder boy amazes me with that even. Eshu was some 6 weeks old when he had his first set of vaccinations(after the ones that are given at birth). There were 3 shots to be given in a row. Now, the mere thought of it was so scary for me as I had seen Eshu cry profusely when he had to undergo some blood tests when he was just a couple of days old. When the doctor came in, my heart started pounding heavily... poor little baby, wonder how much he will cry today. I just turned my head to the other side with Anshu holding Eshu's legs. To our astonishment, Eshu did not cry on the first shot. I credit the doctor completely for it! But with the subsequent shots he did cry. Quite understandable. Now what more can we expect from a 6 weeks old baby? But he showed some signs of being a strong baby.

Ever since, Eshu has never cried in any of the vaccinations. Ok, now that is an exaggeration... But he certainly has not cried in many that followed.. As soon as he would realize something pricked him, we would clap at him, show him a toy or simply smile at him. And that would do the trick!

Now, there was this blood test that was to be done when Eshu was 8 months old. And it was not just a prick. The needle had to go in, stay there for some time to draw in sufficient blood and then come out... which was a matter of quite a couple of seconds. The doctor made him lie down on the table, with the overhead lights on, making the whole thing look all the more scary. Though Eshu had been quite calm and composed on the vaccinations prior to this blood test, this was something which needed him to be more stable which was the toughest thing to be. Seeing my face, the doctor advised to go outside and wait. Anshu, who generally doesn't get that nervous was tensed to the core for this one. I was nervously standing outside waiting to hear the scream of my little one(which was the most certain thing on earth for me this time). Within seconds, Eshu came out smiling on his daddy's shoulders! There was a thick lump of cotton kept in place with a band-aid from where the blood was drawn. And all I did was look in amazement! Hats off baby... you certainly are my wonder boy.

It amazes me even more because for the kind of kid Eshu is, it is difficult for him to stay in one particular position for a count of even 5, except for the time when he is asleep. He is that
restless. So Eshu's blood tests or vaccinations are always nerving, turned surprising for us.

I hope my wonder boy has more and even bigger similar surprises for us in store.
Love you baby!

As you turn ONE

I wonder how fast time flies. Just a year ago, I brought you in this world. The most cherished day of my life. And each day that followed had been a wonderful memory. The whole one year of our life with you has been by far the best year for us. You touched our lives so beautifully, than anything else ever could have.

Wish you a very very Happy First Birthday my honey bunny, the apple of my eye. This first year was marked with several "Firsts". The latest being the First time you walked without support on 13th August, 2009. I have always loved that Johnsons baby oil ad and ur very first steps reminded me of that ad.

You crawled and fell your way upright,
We smiled with joy, a gorgeous sight!
And now you’re one, on this special day,
We love you more, than we could ever say.

Thank you for bringing in so much of love, laughter and happiness in our lives. .. for being the cuddly little bundle of joy that you are... for your gentle touch and your sloppy kisses and for brightening our days with your radiant smile...

Loads of love, hugs, kisses and blessings. Love you baby.

Belated Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

Sorry for not being able to wish you here yesterday. But, for very obvious reasons that you know now, I am sure you won't mind.

This birthday was indeed a special one for daddy dear as he celebrated it with his little wonder. The fun part was the magical candles that would relight after blowing out.

So on this special day of yours, all I wish to say is there are several reasons for which I love you and respect you immensely ...

• You are a loving and responsible husband, father, son and a brother
• You put family first.
• You are the first person who I feel like telling, when something is going on in my mind. I love sharing even the silliest of thoughts.
• You never get irritated or angry when I call you even 10 times a day when you are at work.
• You are way too generous.
• You do not spend on yourself for things which we can easliy afford.
• You have a couple of expensive tastes but you don't spend just blindly and wait until we have that kind of money.
• You don't drink, smoke or indulge in any habit or activity that could be harmful to our family.
• You love and respect your parents and how immensely you are attached to them.
• You are a wonderful human being and my pillar of support.

I have spent 3+ wonderful years of my life with you and all I have to say is I could not have got a better husband. I look for you when I need a shoulder to cry. You are the ONLY person I trust completely and have expectations from. I still wait for you to come back from office the same way each day. You are the best dad Eshu could have and the best husband I could have hoped for.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

The lovely grandparents

It is joy beyond bounds to behold your little ones, as they be-hold their little ones. Being a grandparent is a combination of pride and pleasure. Grandparents are a delightful blend of laughter, caring deeds, wonderful stories and love. And they shower more love and more of everything than we parents can do for our children. Their arms are always open no matter what wrong their grandchildren do. They bestow upon their grandchildren the strengh and wisdom that time and experience has given them.

Eshu is blessed with a lovely set of grandparents who have showered their unwavering love on him. Now since both nana-nani and baba-dadi don't stay in Bangalore, I have seen the desperation within them to be able to see him all the time, to be able to hold him, hug him, kiss him or simply be close to him. This desperation of theirs over the phone in their voices makes me wonder, how immense is the love of a grand parent for his/her grandchild. Maybe I will be able to understand it or better said, feel it, when I become one.

When Eshu was born , his dadi was there in the US with us. I remember how happy she was when she held him for the first time .I could see that heavenly satisfaction in her eyes. And the day when she was returning back to India, Eshu was just 1 month 12 days old. She just could not hold her tears.. the seperation felt terrible. She would return back from the door to the room to see him just one more time before she leaves. When we came to India for bhaiya's wedding, Eshu's nana nani saw him for the first time. Eshu was sleeping in the room upstairs and as soon as they got down from the car, they just rushed upstairs to see him, ignorant of all the people in the way. All they wanted was to see him, hold him and love him. I could see their eyes filled with tears at the first glimpse of Eshu.

Now that we are back to India, his nana-nani and baba-dadi have visited us twice in a span of just 5 months. Since Eshu's baba is not able to get enough leaves to stay for a long period with us, I know how helpless he feels when he wants to see him and is unable to. They just satisfy themselves by seeing him over a webcam or the photographs that we send them. They keep seeing them over and over again and even that would not suffice.

Something magical happens when parents turn into grandparents. Their attitude changes from "money doen't grow on trees" to spending it like it does. Eshu loves the company of his grandparents and they way he is pampered. I and Anshu at times scream and shout at him, when he troubles us too much or even at times when we are in a bad mood, the anger just vents out at him. We loose our patience many a times. But his nana-nani, baba-dadi, unlike us, keep themselves so calm and composed no matter what. This is what differntiates them from us and places them high above us. Blessed be these ties that bind generations!

Happy Friendship day

Remembering all those dear people in my life whom i labeled as "Friend". Thank you for blessing my life with your existance.
Wish you all a very very happy friendship day.
May this friendship last forever and may it grow stronger over the years to come!

Childproofing your house

Each milestone requires a different set of things that need to be done to childproof your house. Some of which I have learnt from my personal experiences , some from both the set of parents and some from the experienced friends.

So here it goes:-
As your child starts to roll over, or is about to reach the stage in which babies roll over their tummies, one needs to get alert at all times. Safeguarding all ends of the bed with pillows and never leaving the baby alone. I have had some scary experiences where Eshu fell down from the bed, so its best to place the baby down all times unless and until you are around.
Those tiny heads have a lot going on within, which makes them extremely curious about their surroundings. So never leave anything around them which attracts them and could prove dangerous.

When the baby reaches the crawling stage, there is a lot that needs to be done.
First and foremost, remove all the needed stuff from the ground level that can be reached easily. Secure all the electric points with a tape. Putting their tiny fingers into the power points and switching on and off the plugs is an interesting game for them.
Leave no wire hanging down on the floor. Every thing that reaches their hands, finds its way to their mouths.
Keep all door mats, slippers/sandals away from their reach or vice versa. Shoes somehow attact them a lot.
Never keep the bathroom door open. Be very cautious about closing the door after each use.
Never leave the bucket/bathtub filled with water.
Never leave the main door/entrance open.

There would be several other things which people might like to add to the list with their experiences. Eshu is yet to reach the standing up(without support) and walking stage. But I know the task would only get tougher by the day.

Childproofing your house would never be completely done, atleast till the time he is old enough and understands what is harmful and what does not need to be done. Till that time just be a little extra cautious by keeping an eye on them all the time, because stopping them just won't do the job... it will only make them do more.

Messy and fussy

Ever since Eshu was some 2 months old, he had this habit of sucking his hand, his index finger and middle finger in particular. We found it funny and wierd as we had always heard of thumb sucking babies. This habit has slowly given way to putting anything and everything in his mouth. He bites and licks everything that comes his way-toys, sandals, slippers, door mat, cell phones, utensils, almirah, doors, latches, knobs, and to the extent his very own clothers that he is wearing. Just anyting. The minutest of the particle lying on the floor might go unnoticed by us, but not by him. I stop him as much as I can and finally when I get tired, I just give up. Much of the blame is put on teething. I guess it could be partly or maybe completely true.


At times, he sreams at the top of his voice for no reason at all. All he gains is the attention of the people around and immense pleaure from the reverbaration of his own voice. Who cares whether it is at home or at some public place. Look at his face at that time. How elated he looks when people look around to see him. A task accomplished.


Feeding him is another uphill task. Just 4-5 spoons full of anything I want him to eat and that is it. After that his lips would be so tighly closed that I just can't put anything in his mouth. Or even if I try, he will blow it off with such an intensity that it will end up sticking all over his face, my face, clothes and everything in the vicinity. After repeated efforts, I stop forcing him, because it doesn't work well for him or for me and leaves both of us frustrated.


Potty training seesions have been so much of a mess, that I have stopped doing them for some time atleast. His new potty seat has been fascinating him so much that he tries licking it as soon as I make him sit on that. I am just waiting for the day when he gets potty trained and at least is able to tell me that he needs to poop. Much of my tasks would be relieved then. I was telling this to my dad and he said, once he starts doing that you would long for the day when he starts cleaning it too on his own. I just smiled. I guess he is right.

And now comes the sleeping time. Eshu has been a very very scrace sleeper, anythime of the day or night. No matter how good I masaage him,feed him ,bathe him ... no matter how sleepy he is, rubbing his eyes vigorously or yawning with a full mouth, he denies to sleep. He becomes extremely cranky at that time but just won't sleep. It takes a lot of time, effort and immense patience to comfort him and make him go to sleep.

The list goes on and on... When I massage him, bathe him, dress him up, feed him. He seems to run away from my grip each time. The bowl of oil fascinates him as I massage him. The mug, bucket and the boby wash fascinate him as I bathe him. The cream /powder fascinates him as I dress him up after a bath. The bowl and the spoon fascinates him as I feed him. He has his hand on everything. The curiosity never leaves him. And, the vast reserves of energy and enthusiasum he carries, amazes me.

Each phase passes by ... leaving back memoies which are mostly sweet. Because the phase in which Eshu is or the phases which just passed by have been full of innocence and ignorance. I wish the ignorance disappers slowly but the innocence remains.

Happiness

Watching you sleep is HAPPINESS.

Tracing that curve of your lips as you sleep is HAPPINESS.

Kissing your forehead when you sleep is HAPPINESS

Feeling the warmth of your snuggle is HAPPINESS.

Seeing you smile back every time I look at you is HAPPINESS.

A glimpse of your bunny teeth is HAPPINESS.

Watching you make faces when you like/dislike something you eat is HAPPINESS.

When you crawl so fast and jump to hug me is HAPPINESS.

Holding you in my arms is HAPPINESS.

Feeding you is HAPPINESS.

Singing to you to make you go to sleep is HAPPINESS.

Seeing you scream in delight as I bathe you is HAPPINESS.

Watching you engrossed playing your toys is HAPPINESS.

Feeling your hands run through my face, cheek and nose as though caressing me is beyond HAPPINESS.

And, seeing you happy and content is HEAVENLINESS.

Baby, my happiness lies in every little thing you do.

My happiness lies in your very existance.

Smile-An everlasting smile

Smile is such a wonderful thing! And when it comes from Eshu, it simply makes my heart grow fonder and happier than ever. Just a mere smile from him and it relieves me of all the tiredness and fatigue on earth. His smile just works wonders for me and Anshu. It lights up any dull moment of the day. It is such a delight to see him smile now, with his two set of pearl visible clearly. He looks adobarle and the cutest with them. When Anshu is back from work, you just got to look at Eshu...his happiness knows no bounds. He just smiles, laughs and jumps around in happiness. He just can't wait for daddy to hug him, kiss him and hold him in his arms. It seems he has been waiting for it from the moment daddy left for office.

Eshu is such a happy child. He smiles at just anybody and everybody. I have rarely seen occasions when he doesnot smile... and those are when maybe he is sleepy, hungry or in some sort of pain. Whenever we go around with him, people just can't go without noticing him ... the way he smiles at them, it is sure to leave a smile on their faces too.

Now, when Anshu is not around for a month, I have seen Eshu searching for him at times. I see his lips curve into a beautiful smile when he sees daddy's pics on laptop. I know how immensely Anshu is missing his darling baby and counting days, hours , minutes and seconds to be with him.
Eshu's smile is one of the most precious things on earth for us. He is too young now... but when he grows up and reads this post of mine, I wish it leaves him with the same sweet and innocent million dollar smile of his. Love you baby.

My Daddy Strongest

Just wanted to take a minute off and wish all the daddies out there a very very Happy Father's Day!!!

I am glad my dad is here with me in bangalore today. Though there is nothing special I am doing today, but just the togetherness means a lot. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY papa... I can't thank you enough for all that you have done for me... infact just a mere 'thank' won't suffice... All I can say is, I am glad to have you as my dad. I could not ask for more. Love you papa...

And again there is no doubt's that Eshu too has an awesome dad and he's a great man on top of all. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, Honey! You are such a great dad and I know how special the relationship is between you and Eshu. This being your first father's day, I know how much you would be missing your chonu. Just want to let ou know, Eshu too misses papa a lot, his hugs and early morning kisses. Come back soon....

Are you working?

Or..." So when do you plan to join back work?". These are some routine questions that people have been asking me since just 1 week post delivery. I have been trying to answer this question for quite some time now. But with the increase in the number of similar repeated questions by a smiliar set of people, it really is getting on my nerves. I am simply fed up of giving the same answer over and over again. And now I just feel like replying.." Why can't I just be a mom and stay at home?" Is that so big an issue for people. If they can not come in terms with the fact that I am happy being a stay-at-home-mom and take care of my son, i'd rather want to stay away from such conversations and company.

Becoming a mother is a very special occasion in my life, as it would be in any woman's life. And when I decided to be one, I and Anshu never had any debates over whether I would be working post delivery or even when I would join back work. It was never an if-else-if situation or choices on raising our little wonder. I would stay at home and take care of him- and that was something I was more than willing to do.

Call me outdated, foolish or whatever, but please spare me the same routine question over and over again. Parenting was never a career option for me. And please don't pity me either, as I am NOT sacrificing anything for my son.

Life is tough being a stay-at-home-mom . Managing things from the crack of the dawn until half the world goes asleep is definitely not easy. All this hard work doesn't earn me a penny but it leaves a million dollar smile on my face.

So, to all those who have asked me this question or the ones who were going to ask me next... Maybe I will go back to work when my little wonder has grown old enough or whenever I feel like ... or maybe not... until then please don't make parenting sound too low a job to have traded my career for.

Milestones

From the day your baby is born, there are different milestones he/she achieves. And seeing your baby achieve them is absolutely thrilling. Eshu is now 9 months old and it had been a wonderful journey till now. From the time when he first lifted his head to being a crawling machine now, each milestone has been an acheivement for us too.

He arrived at 11:14 AM (EST), on August 31st, 2008 .

On 14th October, he gave his first social smile. This was one thing I craved to see and was glad to see that at about 6 weeks of age.

At about 7 weeks of age on 28th October, he laughed for the first time. He loves smiling at anyone and everyone. Infact he smiles more to strangers than he does to us.

On December 20th he held his head up..

He rolled over for the first time on December 26th at about 4 months.

He sat up without support on January 27th.

One major milestone, "crawling" happened at 7 months of age, on March 8th. Today at 9 months of age he is freaking fast crawling machine. I wonder how this 70 cm tall human keeps me on my toes all the time. He just won't be confined at one place for more than a minute. No toy keeps him captivated for more than a couple of minutes.

On 2nd April, he pulled himself up to standing. And he loves doing it to the extent that I find him standing up against the wall in the middle of the night. Now since he can not see anything in the dark, he holds onto it for some time and then starts crying.

One thing that is an absolute pleasure to see him do is playing peek-a-boo, which he first played on February 18th. He loves to play it the most with his mamma. He just screams and laughs hysterically while he plays it.

And just last month, he got his first set of pearl... They are yet to show up clearly when he smiles. I have heard babies look very very cute smiling with those 2 teeth showing up, and I am waiting to see him with them pretty soon.

Off lately he has started babbling alot. The biggest milestone for us being when he said "papa" and "mamma" for the first time . Though the words"mamma" and "papa" just came out of his mouth while babbling and it was not something which he said by us asking him to say so. But I simply love it when he keeps saying"mamma" for most of the time that he babbles.

With each milestone, my little wonder has only grown bigger, stronger, older, more unmanageable and more adorable. Having a baby is the most precious feeling and incomparable to any other feeling in the world. Watching them grow and develop in front of your eyes, is an important part of your memory that will stay with you till you live.

Why Blogging

Its been a long pending thing that I have been wanting to do since my pregnancy days, but due to some inevitable reasons it has been kept off the forefront. Blogging is a blueprint of one's thoughts, feelings, ideas and views. This blog of mine would be centered around our little world ... our son Ekansh(whom I fondly call Eshu). I dont know if I will be ever be able to put into words, all my love I have for him. But I Hope I am able to do some justice and express even 1/100th of it here.

Motherhood and Introspection

There is nothing more pleasing, more satisfying and more wonderful than seeing your own little creation grow in front of you. Life changes dramatically, more than one can take. It's like having your heart go outside your body . Those 9 months of anticipation are filled with mixed feeling of nervousness, excitement, fear and alot more to be expressed in words. Life is like a fairy tale till the little one arrives. When he/she arrives, it is then, that the actual life starts.

A lot of things change in your life over a period of time but some happen overnight. The first and foremost thing that is attacked on is the sleep. Where sleep used to be an absolute luxary, I don't remember the last time I slept uniterrupted for 3 hours, be it day or night. There were those days when i used to love even grocery shopping, but now its my husband Anshu who does it alone. We used to eat whenever we were hungry, but now, we eat only when he is asleep. That's the only way we can eat peacefully. I used to return calls of my friends and family(which I miss most of the time) on time, but now I am often reminded by their subsequent calls. Sometimes days pass without even peeing into the mirror or even combing my hair. There is hardly time left for self grooming. Earlier, I used to desperatly wait for weekends or holidays. But now, all days are the same for me. Be it a Friday or a Monday. No time for any blues. And the thing that has changed immensely is my patience level(though I still tend to loose it fast at times). Motherhood teaches you a lot.

Once you are a mom, your priorities in life change. It has increased my love and respect for my parents too. It has changed me competely... my prespective towards life, the way I think, the way I do things and the way I spend my entire day. I am happy for everything that motherhood brought to me, for the most wonderful thing that has happened to me is with me and I thank God every moment for it.